After the altMBA, I felt reinvigorated. Like my faith in humanity had been restored through meeting so many beautiful people all over the world amidst this really dark time in history. I reconnected with writing which was always something I loved and did as a child to young adult. I felt vulnerable and open. It was strange, feeling feelings.
At the same time, work stabilized for my company a little bit, but I was being pulled into one specific client project that began consuming all of my time. Almost, as if I only worked with this one client, instead of running my company, leading my team, and working with other clients. I felt conflicted. They were our biggest client and the revenue from them covered the bulk of my team. In my mind, I felt required to let them dictate my time and dominate my schedule. I had no boundaries. From October to January things spiraled for me and signs of burnout started showing up.
I lost sleep. I didn’t honor my morning practices or routines. I was so stressed out. I was at a breaking point. I remember talking to Angie about how tired I was for trying to show up as two personas: work me and home me. “Work me” has strong masculine energy having worked in male-dominated corporate environments since I was 17. That carried into “home me”, who also had very masculine energy being the provider of the family and always making sure things were handled. Nearly twenty years of this. I began to feel like I was so disconnected from my true essence and the woman inside of me. I was tired of living in a place of anger, stress, fear, and worry.
In January, Angie recommended I read: “The Power of Now”, and thus my spiritual journey commenced.